How a local football coach became a foster parent to one of his players

Three years ago, Kevin Frey’s entire life changed over the course of four short days.

“Things happen for a reason, like my mother always says,” said Frey, a married father of three teen girls.

Then a varsity football coach at a local high school, he gave one of his players, Jordan, a ride after practice. He found out that the 17-year-old – who had a good shot at getting recruited to play college ball – was going to miss the next practice, rendering him ineligible to play in the first game of his senior year.

The teen had already missed much of his junior year, which is the biggest recruiting year for football. After three years of coaching Jordan, Frey and his fellow coaches wanted to do all they could to get him recruited, realizing football would be Jordan’s best path to college.

As they drove, Frey learned a little more about Jordan’s situation and why his living arrangements were changing suddenly.

The teen was in foster care and had been for some time. This change in his living arrangements was beyond his control, as were his absences the previous year.

“He didn’t tell a lot of people, and I really never knew until the last second,” said Frey. “I knew he was having trouble, and I gave him rides to practices and games. We got along really well, and I could see he needed a little bit of help – and that little push.”

Jordan was a good kid who had to grow up too soon, Frey said. He was curious and clever, questioning plays in a way that showed his coach he was fully invested in the game.

“You watched him work so hard, almost as if football was the way to make himself better,” said Frey.

So he offered to let Jordan stay at his house for a few days. That way, Jordan would make it to practice and be able to play. As Frey sorted out the official details of Jordan’s stay with Jordan’s Foster Care Caseworker, he learned that Jordan needed a place to stay long term.

“Things weren’t going well,” Frey said. “They said, ‘he feels comfortable with you guys – can you take him?’”

Just four days later, Jordan officially joined the family.

“For me, I’m very thankful to my wife and kids,” said Frey. “It was in a four-day period I went from ‘he’s staying the weekend’ to now ‘he’s living with us.’ My wife and girls were excellent. He’s a good kid, and we’ve been very lucky to have him.”

Three years later, Jordan is still part of the family.

“He’s 100% family, at all family functions and holidays,” said Frey. That is, when he’s not away at college. After all, he did make the team.

The Freys helped Jordan get his grades up and gave him the stability he needed to focus on being a kid for a while longer.

“A lot of kids had to grow up before they needed to grow up,” Frey said. “Those kids don’t want to be grown-up. They still want to be a kid. If you can take that grown-up part away from them and let them be a kid while they can, that’s a gift.”

Now, Jordan is an accounting major prepping for his junior-year football season.

“He got an A-minus in calculus,” bragged Frey. “He’s very good in math.”

While the pandemic meant Jordan’s sophomore season wasn’t what he expected, Frey is proud to report that Jordan still scored a touchdown – and ran the ball back 70 yards. Football remains important to Frey and Jordan, and Frey credits the sport for many of the opportunities he’s had in life, including coaching at his alma mater and in the town where he grew up.

“Football’s always been my passion,” he said. “Football did a lot for me when I was growing up. It kept me out of a lot of trouble as a kid and made me who I am today.”

When Jordan came along, everything clicked. Things happen for a reason, after all.

“There are so many kids that need that extra push, that extra encouragement,” Frey said. “Older kids in foster care, sometimes they’re left back. If you have the opportunity to help, it’s well worth it.”

Orange County Department of Social Services is looking for foster parents willing to open their homes to children who need a healthy, safe place to live. Foster parents must be at least 21 years old, with steady income and ample space for a child. The children’s care is subsidized. For more information about how you can help, call 877-297-3303 or visit FosterAdoptOrangeNY.org.